Clint Hill

I’m working on a project for a partner that requires the app to be built in .NET land. Bad enough, but OK. I’m a developer and love code so I can dig it.

But then we (and when I say “we” I mean “they” and I didn’t fight too hard otherwise) decided to use GoDaddy. Oy vey. My first response was “don’t use GoDaddy”. But then I held my tongue. It’s my partners project and product. His call. The dude abides.

So we call up GoDaddy and we ask questions about their hosting plans. Sounds great. Grid computing for the web app front end and a virtual dedicated server for the SQL database. And – it’s pretty cheap. So we sign up for 2 years of VDS and 10 years of Grid computing. The accounts are setup and I start work on moving the app over to them.

The pause is me leaning back in my chair and running my hands over my receding hair line with a grimace on my face.

…

First of all that SQL Server we thought we were getting … eehh … not so much. It’s a legit Windows 2003 server, but it doesn’t have SQL on it. I email support and they say “oh yeah. Download SQL Server Express”. What? But we talked about the dedicated server as a SQL server the whole conversation on the phone. You would think the guy would have said “it doesn’t come with SQL Server licensed or installed.” OK, I can work with that. Download SQL Express and try to install. Fails. Over and over again it fails. As I discover 2 hours later, Windows Updates has been blocked on the server. Not blocked as in turned off. No I mean blocked deep in the bowels of Group Policy settings. Once I twiddle all of those stupid settings I get SQL installed.

Then with the little bit of patience I have left I install the web app on the grid computing account. Piece of pie. 5 minutes. I go to the URL to test and FAIL! Can’t connect to the SQL server. Yes – that SQL server I just spent hours trying to get up.

[2 more hours of throwing darts in the dark]

Turns out GoDaddy basically blocks any and all SQL connections to outbound servers (TCP/IP and Named Pipes). Even their own apparently.

You can’t have a GoDaddy website that connects to a SQL server database that is located anywhere other than the exact same machine the website is on. Not cool.

I’m sure the decision to make this kind of architecture for hosting was all well intentioned. I know people don’t sit around thinking of this kind of evil. But the stupidity still amazes me.

So now I have a call scheduled to discuss how we’re going to unwind this clock. Fun. Can’t wait.